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1. |
idek
02:40
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i don't even know where to start with my problems
guess i'll try to make them into art as if that's not dumb
today, as usual, nothing really got done
i won't impose myself on others 'cause i know i'm no fun
and i must be a privileged cunt 'cause nothing's real to me
fuck an identity, nothing in life was meant to be, you deluded if you disagree
wow, i'm so edgy, all these normies i'm offending, look at me
still an involuntarily celibate degenerate, just wanna end it all
i'm gonna build a wall to keep anyone from saving me
it's not like there ever was any escape for me
i crave to be held by someone so far away from me
i almost want to entertain anyone who's gay for me
but that's no way to be and why would they be
drawn to a sad feminine manbaby
i'm really hurting, i ain't here for no affirming shit
i'm really sick of people who expect my existence / don't respect my resistance to it
i've made so many promises when my intuition knew i wouldn't do it
say i'm worthless and all i ever do is prove it
i'm just grateful those who truly know me don't put me on blast or say they wanna beat my ass
no really, if you're hearing me thanks
but i'm still an involuntarily celibate degenerate, i just wanna end it all
and i'm putting up a wall to keep anyone from saving me
it's not like there ever was any escape for me
and lately this is what i'm thinking on the daily
asking myself every morning why i bother waking and i don't even know
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2. |
lifeless
02:54
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i'm fuckin done with this life shit
i'd be a liar if i tried to be on hype shit
call myself a rapper but i barely ever write shit
just quietly sit resenting that i live like this
i'm not righteous just another dumb nihilist
i'm done fighting let me hate myself in silence
if you try to help me i'll interpret it as violence
i fantasise about the day i'm laying somewhere lifeless
fuck all of y'all who get to have nice things
and have an idea what it means to feel excitement
and function in the real world and believe you do the right thing
or are capable of more than uninspired whining
fuck a lover 'cause i'm never gonna find it
glad to hear you did tho sike bitch i wanna knife him
fuck men fuck women fuck non-binaries
end my life right now i doubt that any of you'd cry for me
i'm sure it's trite to be a misanthropic yt
consciously wasting life and then asking "why me?"
is it even worth sharing this? not likely
but fuck it may as well scare away the few who like me
i'm sorry if my thoughts are unsightly
i really should stick to hiding them in irony
'til i don't even know what i think any more
i can't stand these memories of who i was before
and who i am now i'll probably look back on the same way
embarrassed that i lived these repetitions of the same day
but hey fuck it nothing matters anyway
so maybe it'll be ok
if i just stay enabling indefinite delay on getting to a better place
i've got no right to complain when i fall flat on my face
the world's not my safe space so fuck all of it
and fuck me too for ever expecting more of it
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